Health, strength and beauty have nothing to do with how we look in a bikini. Nor are they defined by a size. We are, right now, strong & beautiful women.
I purposefully will not comment on your weight, especially if you lose some. Or even lots.
I’ll comment on your smile, your generosity, your thoughtfulness and your ambition. I’ll compliment your adorable new glasses or your rocking’ new boots. But no, I’m not going to comment on your weight loss.
I’m never going to tell you “you look great!” just because there is less of you standing in front of me. Because you’ve “looked great” all along. I’ve seen what makes you shine, all along.
I’ll choose to compliment you on your empowered actions, when you say yes to yourself. When you tell me you listen to your body. I’ll compliment you when I see you showing yourself love, or when you make yourself a priority. I’ll compliment you on powering through when times get tough. I’ll compliment you when you face your fears and embark on something new. But I promise to never say “you look great!” just because of weight lost.
See, when people used to comment on my weight loss, I’d feel SO good. It was like a high. That was the best compliment anyone could give me. It directly fed my addiction to the damaging diet mentality. It encouraged me to stay in a terrible mental space: to limit my food intake, to say terrible things to myself when I “messed up” my diet, to binge, to do other things I really don’t want to talk about here. A compliment on my skinner body told me that YES, I must need to be this size to be pretty and “look great.”
The irony is that the times I was my “skinniest” and on the most rigid diet were also the times I was the most unhappy and unhealthy... but that doesn’t show on the outside.
That’s why, no, I’ll never comment on your weight loss.
Because “YOU LOOK GREAT!” Right NOW.
And when we fully believe this? Transformation happens.